Girl Scouts Suck
by Mitsuko Maxwell
Summary: A modern Inu Yasha, in a modern world, dealing with....okay, I won't lie to you. This fic is action packed! Inu Yasha rips off his shirt, and Kagome does a tap dance! And Miroku dances naked in the snow singing the theme song to Spiderman! Wohooo! She's


Disclaimers suck.  
  
It's seven thirty ante meridiem in a seedy downtown apartment building. The bottom level's occupant, a mid-twenties half dog demon lies sprawled across the floor of the small apartment. Around him are the scattered remains of a Cheetos bag, popcorn, and a pan of chocolate brownies. His television shows a happy happy happy woman trying to sell the unconscious young man flawless make up that even a monkey could put on properly. She knows. She's tried it on the monkeys. The young man's beautiful, long silver hair is filled with un-popped corn, orange Cheeto smudge, and crumbs from his dinner of Cheerios. He doesn't have any brownie bits in his hair because he licked the pan while it was still warm. Ah, the benefits of a demon strength, human soul, and a dog brain. Silver fuzzy ears whip wildly around, catching the sounds of the waking city even while their owner slumbers.  
  
A loud knock on his apartment door, number 319-A, jerks him awake. He lifts his head groggily from his pillow of potato chip bags, and stares cruelly at the door. The knock obviously decided to invite a few of his dear friends over, and they're having a raging party on his door. He moves to his feet only half aware of his movements, and yells at the door. His voice is blurry with sleep, and clouded with anger, so his yell is only comprehensible to someone in the same state as his own, and the person on the other side is not sympathizing.  
  
"Yeah'm, comin'! Ow! Fucking Cheeto!" the silver man hops on one foot, and reaches the door handle. "What the hell do you want?" He asks the person on the other side, eyes only at half-mast, and his door copying.  
  
The person says something in a high pitched, 'I'm a morning person!' tone, and Inu Yasha bangs the door shut on them without a single thought of 'Was that impolite of me?'  
  
He moves toward the relative comfort of the floor again, when the knocking returns. Grumbling something even I won't repeat, Inu Yasha re-opens the door, allowing only his face to show.  
  
His yellow-orange cat eyes go wide when he is introduced to the loud end of a boom boom stick. Holding the trigger, is a cute, six year old Girl Scout, with her sash just over spilling with her many achievements in such varied arts as 'Slumber Party,' Five Finger Discount,' and 'Slapping Down Those Dirt Hoes.'  
  
Her cute, red ribboned pigtails bounces happily while she smiled sweetly and holds up a box of some unnamable horror type of cookie. Inu Yasha vaguely notices a local gang tattoo on the left cheek, but it could also be the local Boys and Girls Club Ownership tag. He's almost certain it's the latter.  
  
"Buy my cookies!" Her voice is overly cheerful and exactly what her Scout Leader wanted her to sound like. "Or else I'll ventilate your head!"  
  
Inu Yasha scowls and digs around for his wallet. "Fucking imposing Girl Scouts. only an excuse for extra coke money.damn three year old Thin- Mints."  
  
The Girl Scout just smiles cheerfully. "Small, unmarked bill only please!" She reminds him, holding her hand out for the twenty.  
  
~~  
  
M&M: God, I love me. And my especially my dear, dear Edgar Poe, to whom I owe this idea to. He's just so awesome! Go read Errant Story now!  
  
Inu Yasha: Why was I frightened of a six year old? I could have ripped her demon head off in a second!  
  
Kagome: Hey! You would have done that to a poor, defenseless little girl!?  
  
Inu Yasha: Defenseless? That girl had a boom boom stick! I know what those are!  
  
Kagome: And how do you know what a gun is?  
  
Inu Yasha: Uh.Souta told me?  
  
Kagome: Uh-huh. You were over at my time again! Stop coming over when I'm not there to watching television with my mother!  
  
Inu Yasha: How did you know?  
  
Kagome: I walked in when you were crying over Tako's death with my mom.  
  
Inu Yasha: Hey! Tako was going to get married the next day! And his wife, Yuu, was pregnant with his baby son! It was a sad thing, okay? Don't make fun of As the Continent Moves Farther Away Due To Sea-Floor Spreading!!  
  
M&M: Guys..I need to go, so...Review please!!! 


End file.
